The Fixing of Purim
On Purim, we get so high we don’t know the difference between Haman and Mordechai. This means we don’t know the difference between arrogance and humility because both are holy. The world knows of either humility or arrogance. The truth is that you need both. But you have to know when. We learned it, anger is a very holy thing if you know when to use it. All the emotions in world are very holy because G-d made them. You only have to know when is the right time to use them. So the world may think either you are a shmendrik, you are always humble, or you are aIways arrogant. Both are wrong. On Purim we are on the level that we know exactly when to be humble and when to be proud. The truth is, to be a servant of G-d you need a lot of pride. Reb Nachman says even to pray to G-d takes a lot of pride. That means I am standing before G-d and demanding, “Please G-d, listen to me!” A lot of pride, but this is holy pride. Then you must have holy humility. Not shmendrik humility. Not the stupid humility which is what we have mostly. You must have holy humility. The people who have holy humility are the strongest people in the world. If you know exactly where to use your humility then you know exactly where to use your pride. On Purim a great thing is shining that we know exactly when pride stops being evil and humility stops being completely out of reach. Everything is holy on Purim because I know exactly when to be humble, and when to be proud.
The greatest evil in the world is sadness. Why is the world not becoming better? Or why am I, as an individual, not becoming a better person? Rebbe Nachman tells us it is because I am filled with sadness. Perhaps I am sad because of something I did yesterday. Or maybe I am sad because of what I am going to do tomorrow. It doesn’t really matter. Meanwhile, I am filled with sadness. Rebbe Nachman teaches us that this is the greatest evil in the world. All the teachings of Amalek, all the teachings of evil fill you with sadness.
Rebbe Nachman teaches very strongly that there is such a thing as good manners which have their roots from the Other Side, in the evil of the world. Good manners with absolutely no meaning. The Germans when they invited Jews to go to the gas chambers, would always say, “Bitte — please”. Why do you say please? Why do you pretend to be civilized? So there are good manners whose root is in the evil of the world, and then there are real good holy manners. Holy Good Manners. When someone walks in the door I might say, “Hey! I’m so overjoyed to see you!” because of good manners, but it has absolutely no meaning. Or I can say it because I really mean it. Not because of good manners. On Purim we get drunk. According to good manners you really shouldn’t get drunk, but what kind of manners are they? It all depends on the level we are drunk. On Purim we are holy drunkards, really holy. If on Purim, you are not on the holiest level you really have no right to drink, but… On Purim we break down all the good manners of the world. We get real. And if you are real, you can be drunk and still be real, still be holy. And if you are on the level of evil manners you can be not drunk, and give a speech and say the most obnoxious things in the world. So on Purim, therefore, we break down the level of manners and we are drunk. We are obnoxious, maybe, but we are just on the highest level.
What is the difference between drunk drunk and holy drunk? A non-holy drunkard, if he sees ten people he sees a hundred, if he sees a million, he might say he sees ten million. A holy drunkard sees only One, nothing else.
There is a great war going on — a war of good against evil. One day a year we don’t fight evil. One day a year there is no evil in the world. One day a year we reach the level of the day after the war. This day is Purim. But only the people who are involved in the war all year long can really understand what Purim is all about. If you don’t fight evil all year long and then on Purim, you suddenly say that you want to jump into Purim — what do you know? If evil looks good to you then you have nothing to celebrate. On Purim I celebrate that there is no evil. But if you like evil, then on Purim you have nothing to celebrate. You have no part in it.
So how do you fight evil? First you need to remember that there is such a thing as evil in the world. You have to remember. Imagine that yesterday I was bad, so I mamash promise myself that I’ll be good. The next morning, I’ve forgotten already. I forgot my promise; I forget how bad I felt when I did wrong. If I should remember just a little bit. Purim is the great holiday of the people who remember. Because the people who remember are the ones who are fighting this great war against evil every day. They really do remember.
There are two kinds of love which G-d has for us. The first love is contracted, limited, love. Say, for instance, I like someone because he does everything I tell him to do. And then I like someone not because he does everything I want, maybe he doesn’t do everything I want, maybe he doesn’t do everything I want, I just love him. On Yom Kippur G-d is loving us because we say “G-d, we did wrong, we want to be better, we confess, we promise we’ll be good, we’ll do everything you tell us to do.” It’s all very sweet and holy but it is not the ultimate. On Purim G-d is shining down into us His great love which has nothing to do with doing His will. He just loves us. This is beyond our minds. Therefore we have to be drunk on Purim, because we have to reach that thing which is beyond our minds. You have to be beyond your own mind. G-d’s great love which is flowing down on Purim is not because we did right. It is just because He loves us. This is beyond …beyond every understanding. Evil can only reach the level of love where we talk about doing G-d’s will, so evil can make us not do G-d’s will. That light comes from a place where evil can reach. But that great love which has nothing to do with doing G-d’s will evil cannot reach. On Purim this greater love is becoming so strong in the world, there is no evil. There is nothing between me and G-d. Nothing. I can be a drunkard, I can be the most obnoxious person in the world, but who cares? Gevalt.
Why is it that when you are drunk you can’t stand on your feet right; you can’t walk? There is a level that my service of G-d is standing before G-d; walking in G-d’s way. Then there is a level even if I am not walking, and even if I can’t stand, I’m still serving G-d in a crazy way that Is even deeper. On Purim we reach the high level that we can’t stand, we can’t walk, but we are still the greatest servants of G-d.
What happens when you are drunk? You have strange kind of imagination right? The holiest faculty G-d has given us is imagination. Holy imagination. On Purim we get drunk and we mamash imagine the holiest things in the world. We imagine that there is no evil in the world. This is the holiest level a drunkard can reach.
The hardest time to be aware of G-d is when you eat. Usually when people eat they are so aware of themselves because they are feeding their bodies. It is hard to be aware of G-d when you pray, but it is not that hard. It is really hard when you eat and drink. The more you eat, the less you aware of G-d. The more you drink, the less you are aware of G-d. Purim, we reach the high level the we eat all day long, we drink all day, and the way we understand G-d on that day is like never, never before. On Purim I understand that there is one G-d like I don’t understand it all year, and not by studying not even by talking. By eating, drinking and giving each other gifts.
On no other day in the world is the great light shining that we mamash want to get close to G-d again. Not only I want to do G-d’s will, not only do I want to do what is right, not only I want to fulfill my mission in life. One day a year I just want to be so close to G-d. If I want to be close to G-d I can eat and drink also. I can be half drunk and eat all day long; it just doesn’t matter if my heart is burning up; I just want to be close to G-d. The greatest evil in the world is that we keep away from one another. On Purim the great light is shining that everything is close.
Evil is always new. Imagine, if you do something wrong, you swear to yourself you’ll never do it again, right? How come evil comes to you again the next day? The answer is very simple. Evil is really new all the time. Evil has a newness. How do you fight evil? With even more newness! With the utmost newness in the world. On Purim G-d gives us this tremendous holy newness, mamash I am really starting all over again. Yom Kippur, holy as we are, we still talk about what we did yesterday. So it’s still not completely new. Purim, I don’t talk about what happened yesterday. I don’t even talk about what will happen tomorrow. I am just here.
Why aren’t we Yiddelach as we ought to be? Because we have this evil which comes to us and says it is another world. now. Okay. When Moses stood at Mt. Sinai it was very sweet, but now it’s another world. Evil wants to cut us off from G-d because of the newness of the world. In a 747 you don’t have to believe in G-d; when you were on a camel it was okay to believe in G-d. The thing which is the most beautiful thing in the world is that the world is always new, that new things are happening. Evil wants to take this newness and tear us away from G-d. Purim is the one day that we take all this newness and say, “Because of this newness I want to be a servant of G-d.”
Why am I a little bit bad? Nebekh, I wanted to be good at one time or another. So I started praying so hard, and it looked to me as if G-d didn’t care. He didn’t answer my prayer. I tried so hard. For years I try to be better and it does not work. The greatest thing is, Purim, suddenly I realize it isn’t true. I am getting better. G-d heard every prayer. Purim I realize that I am so close to G-d I know He was listening all the time. Imagine I talk to someone on the telephone and I think the other person hung up. Then I realize I wasn’t even talking on the telephone– I was talking to Him in person. He was actually standing right next to me the entire time.
Purim was initiated by Mordechai and Esther. Two people. A lot of people say, “If I would hear it directly from G-d I would believe it, but if I hear it from someone else I don’t want to believe it.” This is all evil tricks. How do you want G-d to talk to you? Maybe this is the way G-d is talking to you. The holiness of Purim is this is the first holiday which was initiated by two little Yiddelach, Mordechai and Esther. We believe in them. We knew this is G-d telling us. The moment you listen to other people, you know G-d is talking to you through them, there is so much love in the air. If I would mamash believe that every word I hear is a message from G-d, then there is no evil anymore. So Purim is the great holiday when we listen to each other, we give gifts to each other, we eat, we drink, and we know that everything we hear is a little message from G-d.
Just one more sweet little thing. You know on Purim we read the story of the Megilla. Reb Nachman says the whole thing of Purim is the story. You have to listen to the story. Reb Nachman said G-d created man because He loves stories. The whole world is G-d telling a story. G-d is telling us stories, creating the world, creating people, telling long stories. There is such a thing as prayer, which is very deep, but, Reb Nachman says, prayer is not the deepest depths of closeness to G-d. The deepest depths of closeness to G-d is when you can tell G-d a story. The Tree of Knowledge is theories and the Tree of Life is stories. Everything we understand comes from our consciousness. Where do stories originate? From our imagination. The truth is, the story comes from beyond my consciousness, but flows into my consciousness. The story is really beyond. Reb Nachman says that when you dream you always dream stories, not theories. When your imagination is completely free, then you dream stories. When people sit and tell each other stories then they really can become friends.
Purim everything is on the level of stories. Even while I am drunk and I am telling G-d everything I did wrong in my heart, I tell it in the way of a story. Anyway, Purim is the great holiday of stories; you have to be really good and high and drunk to be able to tell your story to G-d.
In Sanz, every year on Purim the. Rebbe, would call out, “Even a person for whom all the Gates of Heaven were closed, even a person who did wrong and could never repent, on Purim they are right there. The Gates of Heaven open, and G-d is with you all the way.”
GOOD PURIM ! ! !
House of Love and Prayer, San Francisco. Purim 5732
Photo is of Rabbi Chaim Halberstam of Sanz (1793-1876)
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