Without getting too personal, I would like to share a story with you that actually happened to me. Maybe some of you know about it. A few years ago, the Humanity Foundation had a big conference in Toronto, to save the planet. Obviously, it was organized by a lot of Jews. It was during Easter and they had special Easter prayers. Nothing for Pesach. The leader of the group was named Yossi Cohn. Gevalt. As it so happens, Yossi is a good friend of mine. I said, “Yossi, you respect every religion except your own. We have two Seder nights, there will be thousands of people, many Jews. Can’t you do something for them?” He said, “Okay, you do something.”

I played there the night of bedikat chametz. There were hundreds of kids. I told them about bedikat chametz, how holy it is. I Invited them all to a Seder. Since I didn’t know who was coming, we put up signs all over, saying that anyone who wants to come to the Seder should buy a box of matza and should bring hardboiled eggs, enough wine for four cups, gefilte fish and one candle. I had to be home. This was in Toronto, and I had to be home to make a Seder first with my kids. From there to the Seder at the University of Toronto was about an hour and twenty minutes walk. I told them I’ll begin the Seder at 11:30. I got there a few minutes before twelve and there was not one sound in the whole building. I walked up the steps and thought, obviously not even one person came. I want you to know, to my most unbelievable surprise, 1500 people were sitting at the tables in complete silence. 1500 peoplel People of every race, every religion were there. As far as I was concerned, that was the highest Seder on the planet. The fire and the holiness, their readiness were unbelievable.

I explained the Haggadah as much as I could. Then we ate matzo, the egg, a little fish. We benched, (said grace). About 3:30, we went out to greet Eliyahu HaNavi. I want you to know, there were 1500 candles standing by the door until a quarter to five. I was telling Eliyahu HaNavi stories and all kinds of other things. Until this very day, I travel all over the world, I meet people who tell me they were at that unforgetable Seder.

Eliyahu HaNavi does not knock on doors. A lot of us are waiting to hear a knock at the door. Sometimes, one should wait to hear a knock on the door. But, at great moments, you have to open the door first.

One hippie asked me, “Seder night, Eliyahu HaNavi comes in and then we say, “Shfoch chamatcha al hagoyim” (spill out your wrath upon the nations who do not recognize You). Wouldn’t it be even more beautiful if, since Eliyahu is coming, we would say words of love and peace? This is a Torah of Shalom Bayis. Eliyahu HaNavi comes in and the truth is, the world needs a lot of cleaning. There is a lot of evil that has to be wiped out from the world. You know what I say to G-d? Please, can You do the cleaning by Yourself? Shafoch chamatcha al hagoyim – can You do it? Right now, I am so high, I don’t want anything to do with cleaning. I just want to tell the world there is one G-d. I personally don’t want to be cleaning. During the year, we can’t get enough of cleaning. We have to say bad things, that this person needs to be cleaned out, that person needs to be cleaned out. Like Rav Kook said, everybody wants to clean out someone else’s apartment. But, when Eliyahu HaNavi ccnies in, it’s clear to me, Ribbono Shel Olam, I don’t want to be Your cleaning man anymore. The only thing I want to say now is Hallel. “Not for us, 0 Lord, not for us, but for Your Name do we sing praises.”

I want to tell you one more story. It’s a “today” story. A few years ago, on the day after Pesach, I had the privilege of playing for Hadassah of New England. The concert was very beautiful, but the women were more interested in going to beauty parlors than they were in spiritual things. Sometimes, you say something and you don’t even know why you said it. I said to them, “My dearest, beautiful ladies. I don’t know if you saw Elijah the Prophet. To tell you the sad truth, I didn’t see him either. But, I swear to you, the children saw him. What a privilege to be mothers of children who saw Eiljah the Prophet.”

A very beautiful lady came up to me. The way she looked, you wouldn’t think she had any depth inside. But, you never know. She came to me and said, “Do you know what you said? I can testify to it. My husband is a psychiatrist. Seder night, we have a little Seder. This year my husband calls me up on the phone to tell me, ‘All this hocus- pocus is getting on my nerves.’ Now we have a little girl, Maxine. He said, ‘Maxine will ask me four stupid questions and I’ll have to answer. It’s stupid, the whole thing makes no sense. Let’s just eat dinner and that’s it.’ So, I said, ‘You’re right. I don’t care so much either.’

About three o’clock in the afternoon, my little girl Maxine comes home. Her eyes are glowing with joy. She says, ‘I can’t wait for my friend Elijah the Prophet to come visit me. Do you know Elijah the Prophet is coming tonight to see me.’ I realize that I cannot do this to her. I call my husband in his office and say, ‘Listen, we have to have a little Seder because Maxine is so excited about it.” He says, ‘Okay, we’ll have a little Sederle, she can ask the four questions, I’ll mumble a few words. But, that’s all.’

My husband came home annoyed, and said, ‘Maxine, let’s go. Ask the four questions.’ She asked them, he mumbled a few words and then we ate dinner. Then, my husband said to Maxine, ‘Now, go to sleep, so you’ll get to school tomorrow on time.’ She said, ‘Daddy, Elijah the Prophet is coming to see me.’ This was too much for my husband. He said, ‘We are not old fashioned Jews who believe in fairy tales. We are modern Jews. We don’t believe in fairy tales. Go to sleep right now.’

My little Maxine ran to the window. In her whole life, she never cried so much. I walked up to the window and said, ‘Maxine, why are you crying so much?’ She said, ‘Mommy, can’t you see Elijah the Prophet standing by our door, crying?’” I just hope that wherever this little Maxine is now, that she still waits for Eliyahu HaNavi.

You know, friends, so many of our children are so holy. They are all “matza children”. Sadly enough, we put chametz into them. Our excuse is, we want them to rise. We want them to be higher more civilized. That is not what we need. We need to be matza Yidden, someone who knows the way it really is.

This is a story of Rav Tzvi Elimelech. He told this story about his father. In those days, people were so poor, but a way of making money was to become a tutor in a rich man’s house. They taught children from Succoth to Pesach, they made a few hundred rubles, and lived on that the whole year. So, his father became a tutor for a rich man. The first shabbos that his father was there, there were no guests. His father said to the rich man, “How can you have a shabbos without guests?” The man said, “I don’t waste my precious money on guests.” Rav Tzvi Elimelech’s father was so innocent. He said, “Do me a favor. Take it off my salary. I cannot eat without poor people at the table.”

He stayed there from Succoth until Pesach. A few days before Pesach, he walked in and said, Now, give me my 500 rubles.” The rich man said, “What do you mean? You owe ME 500 rubles! Because of you I had to spend twice your salary on the poor.” Anyway, Tzvi Elimelech’s father realized that this rich man would not let him go without getting his 500 rubles back, so  he ran to his room, took his things and left. In the meantime, his wife didn’t have a single penny. The grocer and the butcher were asking her when she would pay them and she would tell them that her husband was bringing money on Pesach. So, he thought, how can I come home without any money? What am I supposed to do? He arrived home in the middle of the night. He was afraid to go home so he went to the Beis Midrash (study house).

Rav Tzvi Elimelech said, “I was seven years old. then. I went in the morning to daven and there was my father in the Beis Midrash! I said to my father, ‘Why didn’t you come home? We miss you so much!’ He said, ‘I didn’t want to wake you up.’ I ran home to tell my mother that my father came home. She was so happy. I ran back to my father and told him, ‘For four weeks we had nothing to eat because the butcher the grocer didn’t trust us any more. Now, we went and told them that thank G-d, you are here. Now my mother is preparing the best breakfast for you. We are so happy you came home.’

Well, my father davened so long. He didn’t know what to do. He took an hour to pack his tfllin up and I was pulling him the whole time, saying, ‘Let’s go home already.’ We walked in the street. He walked so slowly. Finally, we came to the last corner before the house. Suddenly, a Cossack came charging along and stopped right in front of my father. He said, “I am looking for Reb Feivel.’ My father said, “That’s me.” The Cossack took a little bag and threw it at my father and then took off. There was pure gold in it. Pure gold. So, Rav Tzvi Elimelech said, “That Seder night, when my father opened the door for Eliyahu HaNavi, I started yelling and I said, “Father, look — The Cossack is here again!”

Every Pesach is so good, so holy. Whatever we can give over to our children all year long does not compare to what we can give them one minute by the Seder.

I remember that from the age of three on, every Seder, my father would say to us, to my sister and my twin brother and me, children, tonight you are sitting at G-d’s table. It is not my table, it’s G-d’s table. At G-d’s table, you must behave in a different way.

What I remember the most about my father is Seder night. And, my father made his Seder like my zaide, who made it like his father. Seder night is seriousness, holiness, awareness.

Some of us are so worried that our children should be religious. First, make Yidden out of them. Shavuot, the giving of the Torah, comes later. First, comes Pesach. Pesach is “vehigadta lebinkha,” And you shall tell your children. The way to give Yiddishkeit to children has to be with so much simcha, so much love. Eliyahu HaNavi is the master at bringing parents and children together. So, at the end of the Seder, any parents who got close to their children, Eliyahu HaNavi knocks at their door and tells them – before Mashiach is coming, and I’m running all over the world to fix the relationship between parents and children, I won’t have to come here because here it’s already fixed.

I want to bless you that when Eliyahu walks into your house, he should tell you the good news that before Mashiach is coming, I’m not coming to your house, because I see that, baruch HaShem, you did it.

“Veheishiv lev avos al banim — and the hearts of the fathers shall return to the children.” Seder Night is the time to pray that your children have whatever they need.

The deepest holiness of us Jews is not only in the way we keep Shabbos and eat matza. The deepest holiness is how we pray for our children.

 Brooklyn, 5745

Edited from Connections Magazine Vol 1 No 2

The next day, after davening, the chassidim went up to Moshele the water carrier and said, “The Rebbe wants to see you.” Moishele came before the Rebbe, and he began to cry bitterly. He said, if ‘Rebbe, I’ll never do it again. I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me.” He was crying. The Rebbe said, “Listen, Moishele, just tell us what you did.”

Now, I always tell my friends that basically we Jews are not so much into drinking. But, in every city there is one Jew who drinks for all in that city. Then, there is some kind of higher drunkard, who drinks for the Jews of that country. And then, there are some lamed vov drunkards who drink for all the Jews of that generation. And then, there are some drunkards who drink for all the Jews from Avraham Aveinu until Mashiach. Anyway, this Moishe, the drunkard, was a lamed vovnick. His greatest joy in life was drinking. The saddest thing is, on Pesach you can’t drink whiskey. So, he had a tremendous idea. He’ll stay up the whole night, erev Pesach, and he’ll be drunk for the rest of Pesach, he’ll be drunk right thru. Anyway, he drank, and even a drunkard who is a religious Jew knows that ten minutes after nine, on Pesach, you stop. He stopped exactly, and he was out.

Seder night, his wife came to wake him up and said, “Moshele, it’s really not fair. Every Jew has a Seder. Every house has a Seder. We have little children, and we don’t have a Seder. So what’s going on here?” And, he said, “By then, did I regret that I drank so much at night. Did I regret it! I would have done anything not to be drunk. But I couldn’t help it. I said, ‘Please wake me up in an hour. I just can’t get it together yet.’ Anyway, my wife kept waking me up every hour, every half hour. Then, suddenly, she came to me and said, ‘Moishele, in five minutes, five minutes, it’s gone. You didn’t have anything and the children are waiting.’ “Gevalt”. he said, “was I broken. Here, my children are so holy and I am such a lousy father, I didn’t even give them a Seder. So, I said to my wife, ‘Please, call my children.’ She called the children in and I said to them, ‘Please, sit very close to me on my bed. I have to talk to you. I want you to know, children, that I am so sorry that I drank. I am so sorry that I am a drunkard. But, I want you to know that if my drinking can make me not have a Seder with you, then it’s not worth it.’ So, I said to my children, ‘I swear to you, Seder night, tonight, that I’ll never drink again. But, right now, it’s Seder night, I am so sorry, we didn’t eat matza, we didn’t eat maror. But, let me just tell you the Pesach story, in a nutshell.’”

Moishele said to the Rebbe, “You know, I was still drunk. But, I tried my best. I said, ‘Children, I want you to know that G-d created heaven and earth in seven days. And, I want you to know that Adam was thrown out of Paradise the first day. Then everything went downhill. There was a flood, there was a tower of Babylon; that was as much as I knew. Then came Avraham. He began fixing the world again. Avraham, Yitzchak, Yaacov and his twelve holy sons. Then Pharaoh made slaves out of us, and tonight, G-d took us out from Egypt. And, I said, children, I want you to swear to me right now, that you’ll always know that the same G-d who took us out from Egypt is still alive. It’s the same G-d. Whenever a Jew cries to G-d, G-d always hears our prayers and takes us out from all our troubles.’”

“Rebbe, I’m so sorry. I couldn’t say anything more because I was still drunk. I turned over and I fell asleep again.”

So the heilege (holy) Reb Tzvi Elimelech was crying bitter tears. He said to his chassidim, “Did you hear that? Did you hear that? I wish that one time in my life, I should be privileged to give over Yiddishkeit to my children, the way Moishele the water carrier gave it over to his children Seder night.” Gevalt.

There is a strong Alexandera Torah. It is very deep and so important for us today. The Holy Alexandera asks, “Why doesn’t the Seder begin right away with questions? The children could ask questions and then we would answer.” He answers that there are certain things which are s-o holy – don’t ask questions. Just take them the way they are. There are certain things in life you have no right to ask about because if you ask, you degrade them, you profane them. So, he says, when it comes to kadesh (kiddush), don’t ask. Urechatz (washing the hands), don’t ask. Carpas (vegetables), don’t ask. Magid (saying the Hagadah), then – you can ask. And, he says, the world is analyzing everything in the world, and they don’t know when to stop. They are destroying everything holy, by asking questions about things one shouldn’t ask.

It’s so clear to me that we adults analyze everything our children say. Was it clever, was it good, was it stupid? Then, the child is likely to say, I don’t want to talk to you. You destroy everything I say. But, Seder night, our children see that we know when to stop. We don’t tear everything apart. Out children say, Okay, I want to ask you a question. Don’t analyze it.

The first fixing, when you come out into freedom is, leave things whole. Imagine, if I tell a girl, I love you so much and she starts analyzing, how do you love me, when do you love me? Who wants to talk to her again? She can ask me what my name is, who my father is, what am I doing? But, certain things, don’t ask, don’t question. I always think that the book, “Why I am a Jew” is a real exile book. What do you mean, why am I a Jew? Don’t ask questions. Why do you love Israel? Don’t ask. Don’t touch it. Psychology, which analyzes everything and pulls everything apart has not fixed the world yet. The world is still broken.

When G-d took us out of Egypt, the first thing was, leave things as they are. Later, you can ask. At a certain point, you can ask. And, even while you are asking, leave a little bit of privacy. There are certain inner depths that you don’t ask about.

I’m sure it’s clear to you that our children ask the deepest questions and the truth is that we don’t have the answers. You can read the entire Haggadah, but the questions are still questions.

When somebody asks me a question and I answer, then basically our relationship is over. But, if someone asks me a question and I say, you know, I have the same question, let’s make the question even deeper, then we become so close to each other.

I have a feeling that when Eliyahu HaNavi (Elijah the Prophet) comes in “Tishbi Yitareitz Kushiot Ubaayot (He will answer all questions)”, he doesn’t say anything. He walks into the Seder and he doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t answer. Suddenly, the question is so deep, maybe it doesn’t need an answer.

We lose our children because we tell them we have the answers to everything. our children know that it’s not true. They don’t want to talk to us. Seder night, I tell my children, so, I’m a few years older than you. You think that I know more? Maybe I know the story a little bit longer, but, I don’t know the answer. I don’t know the answer.

Then, our children feel so close to us. So close.

Brooklyn, 5745

Edited from Connections Magazine Vol 1 No 2

Photo

Rabbi Israel Danziger,  the son of Rabbi Avrohom Menachem Dancyger (1921-2005), son of Rabbi Yehudah Moshe Tyberg-Dancyger (1892-1973) the author of Emunas Moshe.  Rabbi Israel Danziger is the present Alexanderer Rebbe of Bnei Brak, Israel (wearing a Streimal)